When it comes to writing papers, I have no problem getting all of the information in and adding a little fluff. That being said, I am called upon a lot by my friends to improve on the papers they have written. Most of the time you’d be shocked by what is written. And I say this as a friend, I can’t believe they are going to turn them in!
But It’s not really the papers that annoy me, it’s the comments left my some professors. My friend Jhordan had to write a personal paper about something you has learned in her life. She had to make it a life lesson. That being said, I helped her get through it and she got herself an 86% (I don’t promise As). But the comments left my her professor, like the guy seriously needs to go back to school or at least get some manners. Here are his comments….
“This is the sort of ungrammatical sentence that I might let go in another context. But the first two sentences are so empty that I’m sure you know it, so I’m getting the sense that there’s some sort of ironic or comedic tone going on here. Maybe you don’t mean it that way, but it’s coming off as too conversational.”
To be blunt, the paper had to written as PERSONAL paper. If it’s not going to conversational, then what is the point of it being a personal paper? Anything you write should be conversational, your voice needs to come off. So this is where I’m already peeved at the professor because quite frankly, that is just rude.
Onto the second comment…
“You’re being direct but also general. The directness makes it seem honest, but the generality makes it seem like you’re trying to avoid that. The one doesn’t make up for the other. Also, this isn’t a monologue. There’s a performance quality to this, which you sometimes find in confessional writing, where it reads like a dramatic monologue. I don’t think that’s necessarily the best approach here. It can work, but it’s harder to pull off.”
And again, I’m going to back to the point of it being a PERSONAL paper. If you aren’t going to be honest in it, what is the point of even writing it? The honesty is the key point of the entire paper, how else are you supposed to learn a life lesson if you can’t explain how you learned it? And again, the comment is coming off and rude and that he wasn’t happy even having to think about reading any of this paper.
And to the last comment, which is in the conclusion paragraph. This is key.
“As I feared, you’re talking over the surface of things here without really delving into any real issues. The problem is either the approach or that you just really don’t want to write about this, or aren’t ready yet. Either way, it’s not succeeding as it should. The writing is generally good, at least technically, which makes me think that different approach or a different topic might have given you a better chance to shine in this assignment.”
Okay, it’s a conclusion paragraph. You have to literally review the paper, show your case of learning or whatever and end the paper. If the issue is being just touched on the surface, that is the point! The conclusion paragraph ends everything, not starting something or leaving you hanging.
All of these comments, are quite rude. The professor really need to go back and learn what the point of teaching English is. You don’t say even half of those comments and you really don’t just come off as rude when reviewing. This isn’t the movie Bad Teacher where this is possible or a good idea. The tone of his comments make it seem like she isn’t happy about having to read yet another paper and that he hates the topic.
No, neutral tone dude, you are supposed to help your students, not destroy them. It really makes me want to go through and read the other comments on her classmates papers. I wouldn’t put up with this if he was my professor, but this is also why I don’t go to her college and never will.