Was all this legal? Absolutely not! – The Wolf of Wall Street – Movie Review

I want to first begin by saying that when I went to see this movie, I had an idea of what I was getting myself into. That being said, it was about twenty times worse than I thought it was going to be. And I understand why now a lot of people didn’t like it but the critics did. At least the male critics anyway. My mom got up and left about 45 minutes into the movie and myself and my Dad (can you say awkward?) stayed the whole 3 hours for the movie. I have never left a movie yet but that could change soon.

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Review postings include reviews on TV shows, books, music and movies. Reviews are simply, that reviews. I include information from each section and thus this information may or may not contain spoilers. Please take the warning now, if you don’t wish to see or read any SPOILERS, do not continue reading. If you do continue to reading, disregarding this warning, please don’t blame me if something is ruined for you. I did warn you after all. Also, review postings are my opinion and I stand by them. We may not have the same opinion and thus lets not argue over it.

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ImageI want to first start this by saying it’s not going to be a typical review. I’m going to use a plot review from another site and then I’m going to break it down and review it. Sounds simple right? I know I usually write longer but I want to try this just for once. So please stick with me! Here is a list of the full cast of The Wolf of Wall Street.

This is straight from Wikipedia folks:

In 1987, Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) takes a stockbroker job at an established Wall Streetfirm. His boss (Matthew McConaughey) advises him to adopt a lifestyle of sex and cocaine in order to succeed. Barely into the job, the firm fails after Black Monday.

Out of work and with a poor job market for stockbrokers, Jordan’s wife Teresa (Cristin Milioti) pushes him to take a job with a Long Island boiler room which deals in penny stocks. His aggressive pitching style soon earns him a small fortune. He befriends Donnie Azoff (Jonah Hill), a salesman who lives in the same apartment complex as him, and they decide to open their own firm together. They recruit several of Jordan’s friends, some of them experienced marijuana dealers, and his accountant parents and form Stratton Oakmont. Despite the respectable name, it is essentially a pump and dump scam. An exposé in Forbes dubs Jordan the “Wolf of Wall Street”, and soon hundreds of ambitious young financiers flock to his company.

Jordan and his employees live a very decadent lifestyle with lavish parties, sex and drugs both in the workplace and in their personal lives. He regularly cheats on his wife with prostitutes and becomes addicted to cocaine and Quaaludes. FBI Agent Patrick Denham (Kyle Chandler) begins investigating Jordan’s company. At one of his parties, Jordan meets Naomi Lapaglia (Margot Robbie) and begins an affair with her that leads to him divorcing his wife. Jordan falls in love with and proposes to Naomi. They wed, and a few months later they have a daughter, Skylar.

The FBI investigation continues, with the Securities and Exchange Commission joining in. After securing the IPO of Steve Madden, Jordan instantly makes 22 million dollars. To hide his money, Jordan opens a Swiss bank account with the corrupt banker Jean-Jacques Saurel (Jean Dujardin) in the name of Naomi’s aunt Emma (Joanna Lumley). He uses her and several other friends with European passports to smuggle cash to Switzerland. The scheme is nearly exposed by an incident where Donnie gets into a public fight with Brad Bodnick (Jon Bernthal), one of their money couriers, which ends in Brad getting arrested.

Donnie offers Jordan a powerful brand of Quaaludes, hoping to ease the sting of the bad news. The pills are old and seem to have lost their potency, so they take huge doses to compensate. Jordan then receives a call from Bo Dietl, his private investigator, who insists Jordan call him back from a payphone. Jordan drives to a country club to phone Bo, who warns Jordan of Brad’s arrest and that his house phone had been wiretapped. At this point, the Quaaludes finally kick in with overwhelming effect. Severely debilitated, Jordan drives back home to prevent Donnie from using his phone. When Jordan arrives home Donnie (who is also high) is on the phone with Saurel. Jordan tries to make Donnie get off the phone and tells him he found out what happened between him and Brad. Donnie starts choking on ham and nearly suffocates. Jordan snorts cocaine to counteract the effect of the Quaaludes in order to help save Donnie’s life. The next morning, Jordan is arrested for reckless driving the previous night, but is released due to a technicality.

With the shadow of law enforcement hovering over them, Jordan’s father Max (Rob Reiner) attempts to convince his son to step down from Stratton Oakmont and escape the large amount of legal penalties. However, during his farewell ceremony at the office, Jordan relents.

Jordan and Donnie take their wives on a yacht trip to Italy, where they learn that Emma has died of a heart attack. Over his grieving wife’s objections, Jordan orders the boat to Monaco so they can drive to Switzerland without getting their passports stamped at the border and settle the bank account, but it is capsized by a violent storm. After their rescue, the plane sent to take them to Geneva is destroyed by a seagull flying into the engine, exploding and killing three people. Witnessing this, Jordan considers this a sign from God and decides to sober up.

Two years later, Denham arrests Jordan during the filming of an infomercial. Saurel, arrested in Florida over an unrelated charge, has told the FBI everything. Since the evidence against him is overwhelming, Jordan agrees to gather evidence on his colleagues in exchange for leniency.

Jordan is optimistic about his sentencing but after one last night of sex, Naomi tells Jordan she will divorce him and wants full custody of their children. Jordan throws a violent tantrum, gets high, and ends up crashing his car in his driveway during a rash attempt to abscond with their daughter Skylar.

The next morning, Jordan wears a wire to work. Jordan silently slips Donnie a note warning him about the wire. The note finds its way to Agent Denham, who arrests Jordan for breaching his cooperation deal. The FBI raids and shuts down Stratton Oakmont.

Despite this one breach, Jordan receives a much reduced sentence for his testimony and is sentenced to 36 months in a minimum security prison. After his release, he makes a living hosting seminars on sales technique.”

I want to first take a moment to please say don’t attack me for what I’m about to write. Because I really and truly do love a lot of Martin Scorses films but this was just wasn’t for me. I felt like I wasn’t watching one of his movies when I finally got through the 3 hours. I honestly was confused by the whole matter and I wondered if Martin was losing his touch. I really hope not because man he is a fine director.

I want to first say that I really believe there is a good movie inside of this one. It needs to be toned down A LOT and focus on the story rather than the obscene about of sex scenes and drugs all over the place. And okay, maybe that was how Jordan Belfort lived and you are telling the story but really? I felt like I was watching a softcore porn movie rather than a real movie. And it was a bit uncomfortable sometimes with my Dad sitting next to me. Awkward don’t begin to cover it. This is the reason that my mother got up and left after the first 45 minutes.

I knew going into this movie that it was going to be in your face and obscene, I just wasn’t quite ready for the level at which it was at. The movie itself basically wants to offend and shock you rather then tell a story (at least that’s the impression I got. And maybe being rich and having more money than you know what to do with is how it works, I wouldn’t know this (not rich).

ImageHowever with all that pushed aside, there is some great acting in this movie. Leo works his character beautifully and the supporting actors like Johan Hill, Margot Robbie and Rob Reiner all make his character into this more crazy, insane guy that did actually do all of this. Because lets get one thing straight, Jordan Belfort is a real guy who did do a lot of the things in this movie (not sure about all of the sex and drug use). Some good background information on Jordan Belfort can be found HERE.

There are some great liners in this movie too that break up all of the sex and drug use.

” What kind of hooker takes a credit card?” – Max Belfort

“A rich one.” – Donnie Azoff.

 

“You have my money taped to your tits. Technically you do work for me.” – Donnie Azoff

 

“Luckily we’re in first class. Jesus Christ. I think you have a fuckin’ drug problem.” – Donnie Azoff

 

“OK, first rule of Wall Street – Nobody – and I don’t care if you’re Warren Buffet or Jimmy Buffet – nobody knows if a stock is going up, down or fucking sideways, least of all stockbrokers. But we have to pretend we know.” –  Mark Hanna

 

“This is their gift, okay? They’re built to be thrown like a lawn dart.” – Nick Koskoff

Now onto the language of this movie. I’m not saying cussing is a bad thing because lets face it, we all do it. However this movie does it about oh every three to four words. The word “fuck” gets dropped probably over a 1000 times in this movie. And I think it would be a great drinking game, take a shot every time someone says “Fuck” and you’d be drunk in the first 20 minutes. I would actually like to know the exact number that the word “fuck” gets said in this movie.

And to my last little thing for this movie…can you say objectifying women? There is no real good way to say it. They basically present  them that all women are good for it to do a line of drugs off of their chest or to screw sixty ways to heaven and back. That is it and like I said earlier, maybe that’s how it really was but it’s just a bit much for this movie. And I can see how a lot of women were offended by it after they saw it.

Overall, the movie isn’t worth seeing. It’s obscene to the extreme level and I think the rating of “R” is too low for the this movie. I’d say “X” or something high would be a better fit. This is not a movie your teenagers or kids. It’s in your face and it’s too long of a movie to begin with. Once they start into the legal troubles that Jordan Belfort faced then we see a real life movie happening but it’s lost in the first two hours of crazy stupid scenes. I give this movie 4 out of 10 stars. I give it four because if you put all I stated aside, the acting is very well done and that’s basically it.

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