Truly need to keep this in mind. I am having a hard time remembering that I also need to be happy and while I want all of my friends and family to be as well, sometimes people just need to how they are in order to work through things. I want to help, I put all of my emotions on the line and somehow it isn’t enough for people. I am doing my best to be strong but there are times when things go back to the way they once were and I think, maybe it’ll be okay now. Then suddenly the brick wall goes back up and I’m left wondering all over again, what did I do?
I have come to realize that I haven’t done anything. And I don’t mean enough to you if I did do something for us to work through it. My heart breaks every single time and I am close to tears for a few of them. I also don’t want to be this way. Why should my happiness suffer because you can’t admit you have more going on then what you want? We used to talk, we used to share these kind of things but now it’s nothing. I have a damn good idea as to what you’re going through, because my Mom went through the same thing. I was her punching bag (this is metaphor) and while I was with her through it, I’m not ready to be that again.
Yet, I let you do it to be each time. I’m in over my head