This post follows the “How to dress for a wake”
The dress wear for a funeral is a little bit more strict than a wake. Any funeral I have ever been too, even when I was in middle school attending a good friend’s funeral, I made sure I dressed formal. Formal means that you are dressed to impress but in the correct way. All of your entire is clean and hopefully ironed. You are in black. Black is basically the color for a funeral, if you have color, it better be a “quiet” color and not a lot of it.
I do hope you do research though because I know that if the person is of a Hindu background and culture they do not wear not wear black to the funerals, they wear white. And if you go to a funeral in black, it is considered impolite. They also will sometimes have a more casual feel to their funeral (people wear sandals). I found all of this information doing a simple Google search. So please if you are unsure, ask and then do some research.
However, Western Cultures typically are the ones that wear black to funerals. For me, I have never gone to a funeral with any color on. I was taught at a young age that if you are going to attend a funeral, you wear black.
The funeral process can be short or long. I once attended a funeral that ran for over two hours. This all depends on the wishes of the person who has passed and the family. For myself, when I kick the bucket, I want a short funeral and I want to make sure that people are happy and having a good time. Sounds weird I know but I am that way in life and I want that for those I love and care about when I die too. I know that people will be sad regardless but I want to at least have people smile and remember me with a smile.
Funerals are different also depending on the religion of the person. Those who are none religions are usually short. Those who are Catholics, that’s quite a process. Christians can be too, also I have attended short and long funerals. As for those in the military, expect the gun shots. I have never attended a funeral for a veteran or someone who passed while fighting that didn’t have the final gun shots. This a traditions I see as very important, however depending on the person’s wishes, they may not actually have them.
Funerals are usually easier to get right than a wake. Wakes have more wiggle room compared to funerals. But both require research if you are unsure. As for what you should feel or do, that all depends on the situation and the moment. If you don’t cry, that’s your way of dealing. For me, I’m usually calm at the start of a funeral but by the end and listening to the stories, I’ve let some tears fall.
The point, we all grieve in our own way. We all have to work through those stages of grief and some of us don’t take as long working through while others can take a very long time. Just be grateful that we don’t have the mourning traditions set back 150 years ago. Those required all black for months, veils, and black curtains and other objects covering things. You were basically shut up in your house until the “mourning period” was properly ended. I don’t think I could do this.