We all could use some extra cash

If you’re like me, you know that working hard doesn’t always pay the bills and sometimes you have to pick up hours and such just to make ends meet. For me, I’m still living at home but I do pay rent and I help around the house a lot. I earn my keep here, but I am looking to move out. I do think however, I am not the only one who could use some extra cash every now and then.

That all sounds nice and hey, maybe the money fairy will show up on day (my luck isn’t that good so I doubt it) but in the mean time people need to get smart with their money. I realize there are a great many people who do live paycheck to paycheck and struggle with this every day. I know what it’s like and I know how watching that number go down in your bank is just tearing you to pieces. I’ve been there.

One thing that I don’t like to see and I keep seeing more and more of are these GoFundMe pages. I don’t want to sound cruel here and I don’t want to offend anyone but I do want to just point a few things out. The first, is how much GoFundMe actually takes from these pages. This can be a little enlightening to some people (source here).

  • GoFundMe charges a 5 percent fee from each donation received.
  • Another 2.9 percent goes to WePay, which processes the transaction, plus 30 cents per donation.
  • Basically, GoFundMe gets 8 percent of each donation for processing and handling the account.

Second, there are to be the correct reason. If someone dies suddenly, I get that try to pay for a funeral is hard to deal with on top of their death. However, if someone is holder (I’d say about 50) they should already be planning things for when they are gone. There are plans/payment plans available at almost every single funeral home. You can basically pay the whole thing off before you die and not have to worry about the prices changing. My grandfather and my grandmother on my Mom’s side did this. They planned what casket, what music, what to be said and the tombstone before they even died. They planned ahead. Now if it’s someone younger and they are not sick, then I understand that the money to do this is just sometimes not there and you may need some help paying things off. For that I do welcome GoFundMe but just remember the three bullet points from earlier.

Third, I keep seeing some of my friends (I wont say names) who set up these pages for helping to pay for a vacation or even help pay rent. If you can’t afford a vacation and have to ask, maybe think of doing something different. There are a lot of fun ways to have an affordable vacation without needing to ask for money because you can’t afford it. Now for rent, I get that things happen, maybe you had car trouble or whatever but you should always plan ahead. Set up an emergency fund account where maybe you only put a few dollars a week into to, in the end this will add up and save you in the long run. When I see people asking for help paying rent I get frustrated and I actually think it’s a bit funny. I can’t even begin to think to give you funds because you know that the cash needed to pay your rent comes every month, same day each time. This is nothing new. Plan ahead. Plan ahead. That emergency fund comes into to play right here.

I am not heartless as this pay appear. In fact I like to everyone to have less stress and trouble in their lives, however I think there’s a time and place for everything. I believe that life is a test and sometimes you’re going to fail but it’s how you pick yourself back up that is important. Please, remember the three bullet points from earlier and always be smart with your money. It’ll help you in the long run, trust me.

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How to Dress for Funeral

This post follows the “How to dress for a wake”

The dress wear for a funeral is a little bit more strict than a wake. Any funeral I have ever been too, even when I was in middle school attending a good friend’s funeral, I made sure I dressed formal. Formal means that you are dressed to impress but in the correct way. All of your entire is clean and hopefully ironed. You are in black. Black is basically the color for a funeral, if you have color, it better be a “quiet” color and not a lot of it.

I do hope you do research though because I know that if the person is of a Hindu background and culture they do not wear not wear black to the funerals, they wear white. And if you go to a funeral in black, it is considered impolite. They also will sometimes have a more casual feel to their funeral (people wear sandals). I found all of this information doing a simple Google search. So please if you are unsure, ask and then do some research.

However, Western Cultures typically are the ones that wear black to funerals. For me, I have never gone to a funeral with any color on. I was taught at a young age that if you are going to attend a funeral, you wear black.

The funeral process can be short or long. I once attended a funeral that ran for over two hours. This all depends on the wishes of the person who has passed and the family. For myself, when I kick the bucket, I want a short funeral and I want to make sure that people are happy and having a good time. Sounds weird I know but I am that way in life and I want that for those I love and care about when I die too. I know that people will be sad regardless but I want to at least have people smile and remember me with a smile.

Funerals are different also depending on the religion of the person. Those who are none religions are usually short. Those who are Catholics, that’s quite a process. Christians can be too, also I have attended short and long funerals. As for those in the military, expect the gun shots. I have never attended a funeral for a veteran or someone who passed while fighting that didn’t have the final gun shots. This a traditions I see as very important, however depending on the person’s wishes, they may not actually have them.

Funerals are usually easier to get right than a wake. Wakes have more wiggle room compared to funerals. But both require research if you are unsure. As for what you should feel or do, that all depends on the situation and the moment. If you don’t cry, that’s your way of dealing. For me, I’m usually calm at the start of a funeral but by the end and listening to the stories, I’ve let some tears fall.

The point, we all grieve in our own way. We all have to work through those stages of grief and some of us don’t take as long working through while others can take a very long time. Just be grateful that we don’t have the mourning traditions set back 150 years ago. Those required all black for months, veils, and black curtains and other objects covering things. You were basically shut up in your house until the “mourning period” was properly ended. I don’t think I could do this.

How to Dress for Wake

I guess I should start by saying why I decided to write something like this. The first reason came about a while back when a co-worker of mine lost a parent. Our group wanted to do something for her, we got money together and sent her flowers and decided we would go to the wake. Now this was when I got asked what should be worn for the wake. I was puzzled and shocked to begin with. Then I was curious as to whether they had ever attended a wake let alone a funeral. I assumed they had the funeral but definitely not the wake from the sounds of it.

So I started to wonder, do other people have this problem? Are they questioning what to wear to a wake, like they question what to wear on a date? Or have they never attended one? Or do they just general not know?

Anyway, lets get started.

When someone you care about loses someone, it’s definitely isn’t easy for them or you. Odds are you probably knew the person they lost or you see what they are going through. I do believe that you may not know the person that they lost. Either way, it’s definitely not a happy time or something that people want to go through.

So while they are figuring out the entire funeral and burial plans, they will need someone to lean on. That person varies from person to person. Some people do not like to discuss the situation, others are the exact opposite. Again, this varies from person to person.

I want to also point out that the “correct way” or “what to do” also varies from family and person to person. Some families are very strict, others open. It also depends on the person religions and culture they were raised in. This is the part where I’d expect you to do some research if you are unsure.

However, there are some safe nets and that’s what I want to talk about.

The best thing you can do is dress simple and be polite. I don’t mean in your manner, because that should be given during this time but in how your clothes look. I hate to say that your clothes make a statement but honestly they really do in this situation. You can be casual or formal. Each option is open, but remember this varies from situation to situation.

The fail safe, if you are unsure if you can get away with a pair of jeans or not, formal is the best. That means guys in dress pants and the women in dress wear (I’d say dresses but we can full out a suit too). No bright colors, please this goes for everything unless it is stated by the family.

This goes to one of those weird situations I have actually been in. The person who died (who was a grandparent to a friend of mine) didn’t want a traditional funeral/wake. She wanted people to be happy and to have a party to celebrate her life. She wanted it to be anything but formal and traditional. So dress in bright and come with a story to share with a smile. Definitely not typical but it was wonderful.

Anyway, your fail safe is for course formal. Black is the best color in any situation. Black is basically what the family will wear and that is just what we always have for a wake. There are difference for a wake and a funeral, trust me. If you are going to go for not being formal, make sure you know you wont be given a “what the hell” look. I want to stress this in case someone does this and I get the slam comment back. Do your homework people.

For the casual items this is still a more formal casual but you can wear jeans. When I say jeans, these are not the ones with holes in them or that they haven’t been washed in weeks. These jeans are clean and fresh looking. Your shirt can be anything but something you’d probably get from Hot Topic (I love Hot Topic trust me). The shirt can have a pattern but a plain one. Your shirt can’t have any writing on it. Remember this is more casual formal than a going out to the bar last minute thing.

Most situations you can get away with jeans and a nice shirt. A dark pair of jeans and a dresser shirt I was usual go to items. Yes I have been to several wakes and funerals in my life. All of which were different from each other, just as the person who we are remembering is. All of this is important.

Now you’re probably wondering what happens says if the wake is right after you get out of work. Well you can go in what you came from work in, but I wouldn’t stay long in any case. Or you can bring a change of clothes to put on before you leave for it. Either way, be smart.

I hope this helps. I don’t want to submit you into something that may not be right for all situations. Use your knowledge and best judgement. It may help to research if you are attending something that is not in your religion or culture. Either way, be clean and polite, this is a time no one wants to go through but we all do.

Stay Tuned

It has occurred to me as of lately that there are people who don’t know what they should or shouldn’t do in situations. And these situations are things that I just can’t believe people don’t know what to do with. Maybe I’ve been unlucky or I have been through a lot so I know what to do but even still, some of it is surprising.

With that being said, I’ve decided to write some “Helpful How To” blogs in order to answer some of these questions people may have. I’ve been asked these several times and I want to just put it out there so someone can do a simple search and hopefully find it.

My goal in this is to hopefully steer people in the right directions. By no means is that the correct way to do things, this is my own opinion. However, I do believe that I can take you in the general right directions. However, I will be stressing in these posts that each situation is different and should be handled as such. This is just general advice but I want to think  I can help in some way.

Stay tuned.