If this joke isn’t in there, I’ll be disappointed

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May 10, 2019 – Variety Article

 

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This is gonna cause trouble

Now this isn’t the first movie to be released about the events of 9/11. But I think when you look at it as a whole, where it takes you more inside of the towers and possibly what some people went through, it seems a bit too soon. However, most trailers are a good representation of what the movie will be like. I’m hoping it’s done right, but I could see it not being either.

Either way, here is Charlie Sheen and Whoopi Goldberg in the new movie 9/11:

Wonder Woman

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DC finally got it right. It only took a handful of movies before this but I finally think that DC could be a great as the Marvel movies. Yes I’m a bigger fan of Marvel then DC but that doesn’t mean DC doesn’t have some of my favorite heroes, Wonder Woman being one of them.

Wonder Woman starts off in present day in Paris, she receives an old photo from her past from Bruce Wayne and it makes her remember her past. That’s how we get the movie and it’s the only tie-in to the Justice League film. There is no bonus scene in the credits, which is surprising given that pretty much become a staple for Superhero movies.

We jump back in time to when World War 1 was raging throughout Europe. Many were starting to wonder if the war could even be won. Captain Steve Trevor crashes near the island of Themyscira, where Diana (Wonder Woman) is living with the other warriors, completely outside of the rest of the world. She saves Steve but her Aunt ends up getting killed with the Germans follow Steve onto the island. Steve is able to convince Diana that the war could use her help, but Diana is only going because she believes the God Ares has returned and it’s her destiny to kill him.

“I used to want to save the world, this beautiful place. But the closer you get, the more you see the great darkness simmering within. I learnt this the hard way, a long, long time ago. ” – Diana Prince

Steve takes Diana to London where they set up a plan to get into the heart of the battle in hopes of stopping Spanish chief chemist Isabel Maru, who is attempting to engineer a deadlier form of mustard gas under the orders of General Erich Ludenorff from a weapon facility. Diana believes that General Ludenorff is the God Ares in human form.

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They’re able to save a town and a lot of people before finally facing General Ludenorff but when Diana kills him, the war is still continuing, proving that she was wrong and he was not the God Ares. The God Ares is actually Sir Patrick Morgan, a man who was supporting peace and was supposed to be helping them in their quest. Diana goes a little crazy and Steve ends up sacrificing himself in order to destroy the gas that Isabell Maru created. Diana kills Ares and saves her other three friends but it forced to live with the loss of Steve. We jump back to present day where Diana replies to Bruce, thanking him for the picture and bringing Steve back.

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Overall, the story is well written. It creates a story-line that is believable and funny. The humor was delivered and understood at each point in the movie. The love story between Steve and Diana could’ve been done a bit better, sometimes it seemed like it was rushed and that they never really did get to know each other. However, what Diana stands for it clear and that she will spend her immortal life doing just that. I give this movie 8 out of 10 stars. I really wished they had done a bonus scene for the Justice League, which is the next film to be released. And there were a few moments that were dragging and made me want to fast forward. Wonder Woman did bring a strong female warrior to the team and I hope that continues in the Justice League movie and that they keep a good thing going.

“It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love. Only love will truly save the world.” – Diana Prince

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The Mummy should stay buried

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Hollywood you have to stop with the reboots. They’re not working for you. You’re taking classic movies and ruining them in order to tell the story again. Only you’re not telling the story, you’re changing it completely.

The same can be said for Tom Cruise’s The Mummy. I’m not exactly sure what happened. The movie has quite an interesting plot to begin with and it can actually be a great movie. And then they decide to fly out into the middle of the desert and blow up the entire story.

Tom’s character is similar to Brendan Frasier’s character, but lacks the charm and humor. The Mummy is also not set in Egypt, it’s set in Iraq. They find the tomb where the mummy of Princess Ahmanet has been hidden from the world. She was sent to death after using the dark arts in order to kill her family. She wants to bring the God of Death to life on Earth. She gets stopped and was sentenced to death before she could bring giver her lover to the God of Death.

“She will not stop until she has remade our world into her own.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

When she is unlocked, by Tom’s character, she believes him to be her “chosen one” and she’ll give him to the God of Death. It’s pretty straight forward. Except they have to find the knife which was hidden in England and stone. Without the two together, the ceremony can’t be finished and Ahmanet will not be able to hold up her end of the deal. The part where they destroy their story is when Russell Crowe’s is Henry Jekyll and apparently has to take a drug in order to control his “dark side”. Yeah this is the moment where this movie went downhill. There is no point to this entire side in the plot and they only tie in they give it is that he’ll kill Tom’s character because it’s the only way to break the curse that she put on him.

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I can’t even begin to get into what happens next. The last 45 minutes of the movie were basic fluff and not going anywhere in the store. The mummys that Ahmanet uses her magic to make, are CGIed so bad that it’s sad to see. In the Brendan Frasier films, they at least looked real and the storyline was a bit more believable. Yes I say that knowing that someone out there is going to say “they’re bringing dead people back, it’s fake”. I realize it’s sci-fi. I realize that the whole story is impossible. My one thing with movies, no matter the genre, is that it needs to be believable. If you take it too far, you lose me and most of your audience.

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The Mummy reboot is a mess. The storyline starts off great but is quickly destroyed. The story of the importance of items and people are not fully explained. It tries hard to have comedy but it doesn’t come close to it. Ahmanet is also a let down. You don’t get to see her power all that much, it’s sad really. I give it 3 out of 10 stars. I only give it 3 because it started out with a good plot but as I said, went downhill.

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The Lego Batman Movie

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The Lego movies never seem to disappoint me. There are made for kids but there are several adult jokes for the parents that get to go. The first Lego movie introduced us to Batman and because the DC new Batman movie is delayed, this movie filled in the gap.

The Lego Batman movie picks up a few years after the last Lego movie. Batman has been protecting Gotham from crime and dealing with all his known nemesis through the comics. His man villain for this movie is the Joker. Joker is set on destroying Gotham because Batman will not admit that they have a relationship with the Joker being his arch-rival.

“Uh, cause last time I checked, I only have one butt.” –Batman

Batman then attends the city’s winter gala as Bruce Wayne to honor the retirement of Commisioner Gordon. He learn that Gordon’s daughter, Barbara is going to be taking over for him at the police station in Gotham. However, Batman learns that Barbara has plans to have the city no longer need Batman to fight crime. The Joker then crashes the party in order to be “captured” but he has other plans. The Joker wants to get to the Phantom Zone, which Superman has left his enemies in. There are several jokes regarding the Batman vs. Superman movie and about the Justice League films before that.

Batman isn’t content to let the Joker just sit in prison and believes he had other plans. He starts to watch the Joker in prison. However, Alfred intervenes and advises Batman to take charge of Dick Grayson, the adopted kid that Bruce didn’t realize he truly adopted from the event. Dick becomes Robin to Batman. They manage to recover the Projector from Superman’s Fortress of Solitude, where Superman is throwing a huge party. They head to the prison to confront the Joker and use it on him. Barbara is there however and both Batman and Robin end up locked up. The Projector ends up in the custody of the prison where Harley Quinn steals it back. She then breaks free the Joker and uses the Projector on him to send him to The Phantom Zone.

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The Joker is able to break free all of the villains and now Robin and Batman have to convince Barbara to let them go in order to stop the Joker. The Joker’s ulitimate villains include Lord Voldemort, King Kong, Sauron, the Wicked Witch of the West, Medusa, Agent Smith and his clones, the Daleks, the Gremlins and the Kraken. I laughed when I saw the Gremlins. Barbara becomes Batgirl for Batman and Robin and Alfred because she wants to stop the Joker. These 4 and the other villains that were locked up with the Joker that he left for the Phantom Zone villains fight back.

“Sir, I have seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1966.” –Alfred

However, Batman fails to stop the bombs from detonating, causing the city to split apart. Batman reluctantly convinces Joker that he is the reason for being the hero he is, and working together alongside Batman’s friends, the villains, and the city’s inhabitants, chain link themselves together, reconnecting the city’s plates. With the city saved, Batman prepares to be taken back into the Phantom Zone to fulfill his bargain, only to be rejected by Phyllis, who chooses to let him remain after seeing how much he had changed in order to save everyone. Batman allows Joker and the rest of his rogues gallery to temporarily escape but will catch them later.

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Overall the movie is definitely for kids but there are several jokes for adults as well. It plays off of the failed DC movies of the past and how they seem to keep making Batman movies over and over again. I give it 8 out of 10 stars. I think it’s a little longer the necessary and some parts could’ve been cut out. However, overall the film is fun and yes, the music is great.

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50 Shades Darker

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When it comes to the 50 Shades series, you’re either for it or you hate it. It’s safe to say that given that when the first movie came out people were trying to have it banned from theaters. First, people needed to chill. If you don’t like the movie or it’s story, don’t see the movie. Second, they made it into a movie because people loved the series and read it, sometimes more then once. Just relax and let people see what movie they want to see.

50 Shades Darker picks up the story of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey pretty close to how the last movie ended, much like the book. However, one thing that 50 Shades Darker doesn’t do is keep the love story between these two going. The story and plot line gets lost in the need to hit points in the book that we can’t really get anywhere with  developing a turn story. It’s very different from the first movie and I’m thinking it’s because we have a different director and writer. And what is sad is that the film starts out taking the thrill of Leila stalking Anastasia that it seems like it’s going to go somewhere but is quickly destroyed by the lack of true emotion given between the actors. It seems like both Dakota and Jamie were bored and who could blame them given how horrible the plot line was.

“I want you back. I’m not very good at this, I’ve never wanted to try again.” – Christian Grey

The love between Anastasia and Christian is supposed to grow greatly throughout this book, one of the reasons he asks her to marry him. However, the lack of emotion portrayed between the actors leaves you lacking. You never reach the moments that need the emotion the most. For instance, when Anna is confronted by Leila (which she mispronounces her name several times), Anna shock is laughable and seeing Christian with Leila is not a strong scene but more of him being annoyed. Anna doesn’t even get the chance to deal with the scene because we jump right into her being able to touch Christian, which should’ve been again another emotional and loving moment but was more of a “I really don’t want to touch you” moment. Another disappointment.

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Jack Hyde was exactly the way I wanted him to be. That’s really the one thing that I enjoyed about this movie. I had hopes for Leila but they didn’t fully develop that part of the story so it became a let down. As for Jack, he was the creepy and slimy guy he was from the book and I give him a huge thumbs up for how well the characters was delivered. The tense moment between Anna and Jack is the one scene where I actually believed what was happening between the two of them. This unfortunately didn’t continue for the rest of the movie.

Mrs. Robinson aka Elena Lincoln is boring. She doesn’t look like the woman I pictured at all and instead of being “protective” of Christian like she is in the book, they spend the movie making it clear that she wants Christian for herself. Now, we know this the real reason behind what she does in the book but it’s not given to you a face to face until the last book. She’s boring. And when Grace slaps her at the end of the film, it’s more of a, well I was wondering how long that was going to take versus a pivotal moment between friends like it should’ve been. Mrs. Robinson was another let down of 50 Shades Darker.

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Overall this movie doesn’t give you the story that 50 Shades Darker should. It never reaches the emotions between the characters and the actors. The story is more about hitting points in the book then setting any story up to begin with. And the characters are thrown around and together is chaos in hopes of getting as many people on camera in order to make the movie seem fuller. I give it 5 out of 10 stars. I was very disappointed in this movie, especially after how much the first one told the love story between Christian and Anastasia.

“I don’t see how this can work.” – Anastasia Steele

Also, there is a bonus scene after the credits of the film. Actually, let me rephrase that it’s a teaser trailer for 50 Shades Freed. It doesn’t give you much, I don’t even think it’s 30 seconds long. But it gives you a glimpse that this series is ending and if the last film is just like this one, then it’s going to be a a disappointment too.

Other Reviews:

A Dog’s Purpose

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I’m a sucker for animal movies. The only downside for me is that I have to bring a handful of tissues with me to the theater because no matter what they make me cry. A Dog’s Purpose is not an exception to that rule, in fact I told people to bring tissues shortly after I saw it. My Dad was even crying. It goes straight to the heart especially if you have/had a dog.

This was me, and then this was me, then I came back as this little guy. A lot of lives for one dog to live, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning. For me it all began with a boy, his name was Ethan.” – Bailey

A Dog’s Purpose moves through the same dog, living several different lives. The man question he keeps asking through the movie is what is the meaning of life? Why was he here? And throughout his lives and the humans he has come to know and love, he learns all about that. Bailey is who we can call him, even though he has different names throughout each of his lives. Bailey learns the hard lives that some boys lives and how sometimes things at home are not what they seem.

“I had a purpose. I was needed again, and again, and again. With each new life I was learning a new lesson.” – Bailey

Bailey and his boy Ethan, meet when Ethan and his mom save Bailey from a hot car. Bailey quickly becomes Ethan’s closest friend and follows him everywhere. He goes through several tough situations with Ethan, with his abusive father and his first love. Bailey even helps save Ethan and his Mom after a kid at Ethan’s school decides to take his anger out in the worst way, burning down Ethan’s house. Ethan however is getting older and has to continue on his life and when he leaves for college, he is forced to leave Bailey behind. Bailey doesn’t understand and you see Bailey get older and start showing his age while Ethan is away. Eventually the time has come and Bailey has to be put down. And then we start a new life.

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Each life that Bailey lives he is helping his owner. He is a cop dog who saves his owner’s life. He is a little dog who helps his owner find love while also finding it himself. And in each time, he’s hoping to find that one person who can help him get back to Ethan. He is starting to slowly remember when he is abandoned after an owner got tired of him (which is way more common then you think). He is also to do that by finding a scent that is familiar to him, it’s the scent of Ethan’s former girlfriend Hannah. Bailey is also to make it back to Ethan but he is a different dog of course. Ethan takes him in, calling him “Buddy”. They quickly fall into the same routine but Bailey wants Ethan to know its him, that he’s not “Buddy” but Bailey.

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A Dog’s Purpose is a family movie that I high recommend you see if you have/had a dog. It shows you the loyalty that dogs give us even when we don’t deserve it. It shows how cruel people can be to their animals. It shows that a dog is a huge responsibility and should never be taken lightly. It’s a story about friendship, love and support from the best friend a man or woman can have. I give it 10 out of 10 stars.

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