I’m a very loyal person. I strive to make my family and friends happy and to see them smile. I love and care even when it isn’t smart to do so. I give chances, even when people really don’t deserve them. I’m a hard worker and make sure my job is done to my best abilities.That’s who I am. It’s who I have always been.
I once had a teacher tell me this would leave me hurt in the end. That people would take advantage of that and use it against me. What he didn’t know was that I’m smarter than I look. Yes I’ve been hurt and betrayed, in some pretty horrible ways, buy I’ve learned from each experience.
The most recent experience is my London trip fiasco. One of my good friends, could say best friends, decided a few days before we were to book he’d back out. Needless to say I was upset and yes, it still stings. He of course apologized but it wasn’t sincere.
I have forgiven but I will never trust him again. This was being planned for months and he promised me he was in. This is of course something I have wanted to do since I was 16. So I had a lot put into this. So am I wrong?
It seems some people understand where I’m coming from and others think I’m being simply, a bitch. Well maybe I am buy quite frankly I’m entitled to be ticked and not just forget the whole thing. When it comes down to it, I can’t forget, but I can forgive. Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.
I don’t hold grudges and while this may seem to be one it’s not. I need to see that he’s truly sorry and he’s shown everything but that. And since then it’s become clear this was all a game to him. I don’t think he was ever going to go and he got my hopes and dream within reach only to set it on fire before me.
If that makes me a bitch, then fine. I can be civil. I can deal with being around you. But things will change. I know how to be the adult, even when everyone else isn’t. It’s difficult but I manage.
However, I am sarcastic and happy through all of this. My sarcasm has become a way for me to deal with this whole mess. I still remember those words spoken by my teacher when I was young and I will probably always remember them.
I’m not looking for you to agree with me, or even for you to understand, just to take a closer look at who I am. I’m complicated, weird and honest. At the end of the day, I just want you to be happy and that will make me happy. At least, for now….
Tanya Giaimo 